After a very unpleasant divorce I changed a lot. I took up playing squash and became a lot fitter, resulting in
running half marathons on a regular basis…that is until my back said…Enough!
I also learnt there is life after a partnership or marriage break-up and so enjoyed about 15 years of being
single…ish. By that I mean I had 2 or 3 relationships and each time I thought they were going somewhere but didn’t.
After a divorce we all have some baggage but often don’t realize we’re carrying any. I knew I had issues to
resolve and, somehow, I kept meeting women who also had baggage caused by a previous relationship.
It’s not a nice feeling going home and realizing you’re driving slower and slower because you don’t want to
return there!
Although I’ve not experienced the death of a spouse I know it can cause a huge loss of confidence and may
take a long time to build up the courage and desire to start again. This is a strong point of online dating as you can move at your own pace and
enter, and leave, a dating website at any time you choose.
So, there I was, still playing squash then racquetball, keeping fit and enjoying life but noticing I was
spending more and more evenings at home alone.
That’s fine…sometimes, but after several years it gets boring. In my case I started writing songs (I play 6
string guitar) Writing might be using poetic license as I would start by aimlessly strumming, caused by the bottle of Merlot now standing empty
by the sofa, and suddenly stumble across a chord sequence which “sounded good.”
Some of you may be thinking “only one bottle?” Well…that’s because I had only just opened the
second!
I lost count of the many films I watched on Friday and Saturday evenings and then one Saturday, as I resigned
myself to watching a hospital soap, I knew SOMETHING HAD TO BE DONE!!
Many of my friends were married and it amazed me how few dinner invitations a single guy receives from
“friends.” So I started looking at dating websites and it seemed like half the planet was lonely and looking for love and
companionship!
Several well meaning female friends actually tried to warn me about the risk of who I might meet via online
dating. I then reminded them of some of the women I had met offline! They saw my point…
I also felt online dating could be safer than meeting someone in a bar or club as a dating site enables you
to exchange emails and talk to someone without revealing your identity. Then, when you feel comfortable and you’ve got to know them you can
arrange a meeting.
Imagine talking to someone in a chatroom knowing you can leave at anytime. I would now recommend you meet as
many people as possible using that method to learn more about how you communicate with others, and they with you. Look for the rapport or what I
call “the banter factor.”
I also had many disappointments where someone, who looked great, didn’t reply or had already met someone. It
also takes a while to accept you may not have universally popular looks…unless you’re a Tom Cruise look alike…which I’m not!
But, the more you try the more likely you are to succeed! Exactly the same as life really! Never, never give
up!!
I became fascinated by online dating because of the choice and variety of people who were also searching.
Dating websites offered the potential to meet more people in one evening than I would offline in one month. Not only that but I could consider
meeting someone from a different country and culture if I was prepared to travel,
I knew the chances of finding my perfect match and soul-mate had increased dramatically.
Some of the services we have available on SilverSurfersDating, such as Instant Messenger and Video, weren’t
available on the dating sites I used as they had email and photo only. Nevertheless it was fun and informative and I learnt a great
deal.
All my dating website experiences occurred about 4-5 years ago, I did meet someone and we’ve now been very
happily married for just over 3 years. It can happen to you as well!
I wish you much success and happiness in your search and if you meet someone here we’d love you to share your
story with us.
